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Find Something that Makes You Happy

I moved to New Jersey November 2015, making this November 4 years here.

Since I’ve been here I have been trying to find thing that will make me happy. I moved to a new apartment, went to parties, happy hours, anything I could to get out of the house. And then I dated, men who were needy and dependent trying to find some happiness that was tied to me being in their life. So that meant spending extra time together, wanting relationships, meeting their friends and family, all that exciting stuff. All the while thinking a relationship would fill the void of me feeling lonely, the need to connect of just missing something. I always felt a disconnect, although I was smiling I wasn’t truly happy.

My brother has always been my grounding voice for me, but recently in the later part of my twenties, he has really been my voice of reason & the person holding my mirror. So in discussing this with him, I mentioned thinking about moving again, maybe to Jersey City to essentially want more, a social life, do more things, meet more people, and find something to connect to, all tied to not feeling happy or fulfilled here in Newark. His response was simple- you can drive to all those things, you can find them anywhere. But you have to find things within you that make you happy. Moving won’t do that. DAM- reality hit hard when I actually sat back and thought, he’s right. It almost seemed like I was running from being happy- alone.

Moving was my escape (well he basically said I have an addiction or issue Lol), but moving allows me to start over allowing me to think a different city will bring me a different needed joy. As I thought more about it, that could be the reason why I jump so fast and hard into relationships – when all the while if I find those things within me that twill make me happy – the other things will come. The friends, the love, the happiness. They will all come. And this couldn’t be more true. 

So I made a promise to myself to really dig and find/do things that make me happy. Find them, create them, build them, and love them. So far I have found a peace at the beach, tried new restaurants in NJ/NYC, went to museums and started saying No to plans and yes to me (Read my post on Year of No). I created a list of things I want to do or places I want to see for the rest of 2019. So far, I am LOVING IT! And loving me. 

So, as I continue on this journey, I ask you join me. What have you done to find happiness within you? It’s a hard task I know, and we are all faced with doing it at some point in our life. Have you mastered it yet? What are some things on your list? 

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