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What I learned about myself on my First Solo Trip

Don’t think about it just do it, you’re going to love it! 

I booked my first solo trip ever to Puerto Rico! Right after my 31st birthday I was talking it’s my best friend about wanting to travel to Puerto Rico. “Just do it” she said, and I checked Expedia, found my ticket, and booked the trip. Just like that. Crazy right?! While I super excited this was my first time having to make plans and reservations all on my own. Research is a big part of booking your solo trips, especially during COVID. Check out my Blog “Tips for solo travel and Enjoying Puerto Rico” for more. 

As I was gearing up for this trip, I discussed with therapist my expectations for this trip. I definetly needed a break, after being cooped up in the house for a year – I was ready to get out! But this trip was so much more than just getting out. It was so much more than sitting on the beach. Traveling solo is an experience that I strongly encourage everyone to do at least once in their lifetime. No matter your age – traveling slo is an experience everyone should have. It’s. It’s a way to trust your instincts, to find out more about yourself and the things you like and dislike. Yet it is also a spiritual journey! It forces you to get closer to the real you. It allows you to become your own best friend; and lets you step outside of the comfort zone you at find yourself in.

For this trip I asked God for a few things, but I received so much more. I asked God to allow me to receive uninterrupted rest; to start to fully let go of the baggage I carried; and finally to keep the focus on meeting myself. What did that mean? In my experience – everyone asks you when you go on vacation – did you meet anyone? Where there any cuties on the trip? While I a strong proponent of vacation sex, that wasn’t the purpose for this trip. The only person I wanted to meet on this trip was myself – fully and authentically.  But I received so – much – More! When you ask God for one thing, he delivers beyond your expectations.

My first night in Puerto Rico I cried. Not because I was scared – but because I felt that this trip was going to be the healing I needed. The air and energy on the island was inviting and calming. I was open to all I was to receive on this trip. 

So what did I learn about myself on this trip?

Taken after yoga on the beach with Angelina
  1. I tend to overthink too much and don’t allow myself to live in and experience the moment. Sometimes when you are on vacation you feel like you have to make the most of the trip. You try to get up early and see everything. While sightseeing is a must – sometimes you don’t want to overthink and try and do too much. Sometimes you have to let the energy flow and take you where you need to go. My first full day was a beach day. When I got there I was trying to plan out my entire day – first the beach and then this and then this. Then I had to pause and realize – I was doing too much! Prior to booking activities on my trip I was able to chat with my sis Jasmine about her recent trip to Puerto Rico. One of her suggestions was don’t book too much – allow yourself time to explore. I thought back to that tip and told myself – let the energy of the island flow. And after that – the possibilities were endless!
  2. When I actually allow myself to see myself – I actually enjoy what I see. On this trip I mentioned I asked God to allow me to meet myself, through my own eyes. Since it was just me and me – I was able to do that. Sometimes we can only see ourselves through the eyes of others. Depending on the lens, we don’t like that because we aren’t being true to who we are. We aren’t being honest about who we are. While in Puerto Rico I was able to see how much I’ve grown in a year – shit how much I’ve grown in the past few months. I was able to see  the beauty in my skin and body and purpose. That was the first time – I smiled back at myself genuinely.
Taken in Old San Juan

3. I was fighting a shift in my life because it was outside of my comfort zone. This was a big one. While on this trip I was so inspired! I had an idea to do a project that made me feel alive. What inspired me and made me feel fulfilled had nothing to do with the career field I was in. It was the first time I was honest with myself and said – this is your passion and apart of your purpose and you have to honor it and take the chance.

For so long I was trying to fit my passion into the field of justice because that was my safety net – it was my comfort zone. Yet, I still felt uncomfortable and disconnected. On this trip I realized you can’t run from your purpose and your passion – you only lie your life dreaming of what it would have been like – and I no longer want to live that life. 

4. I am my own best friend – and it doesn’t mean I’m lonely. It means I can enjoy my own company. While I am definitely an extrovert, but I am also comfortable doing things alone and being introverted. I met so many people that are afraid of traveling alone or doing thing alone because they thing it makes them look weird, or lonely, or they just don’t know why someone would do that. My best friend taught me early on to do things alone and enjoy your own company. Nothing forces that more than a solo trip! At first – going solo can be scary because you now yes you will definitely meet amazing people on the trip – but you will also meet yourself in a new way. And that is the exciting part! 

5. I am still working on those boundaries. Now I’m not saying I was good at them – I’m just saying I realized that when it comes to certain people – i still let boundaries expire. The statement “as you grow you have to continue to teach people how to treat you” is still true. Just because i was on vacation alone didn’t mean i was available. Yet – because I ain’t clear on that boundary – and then let people continue to break it – I realized there was never really a boundary – just an assumption.

What I ended up doing on this trip – after day like 3 I just stopped answering the phone. It may not have been the best way to deal with this – but in that moment that’s what worked for me. Yet this made me realize – that while boundaries take time – who you were in the past isn’t who you are in this moment, and you are allowed to change and grow and with that comes changes in boundaries. This is definitely something me and Pha Pha have to discuss more in our next therapy session.

6. When I follow my own beliefs and trust myself, I win. When I first booked this trip there were people who said – why would you did that, aren’t you scared, can’t you jut go with someone? And before the trip I did second guess the trip. I didn’t book my hotel right away – so there was a time I almost cancelled, but I had a few good friends in my corner telling me to just do it. Shit, I was telling myself to just do it. i wasn’t fully listening to myself – I was still allowing the feelings or thoughts of other to influence me. I am proud of myself for still going with it, taking the leap and taking the trip. It was the gift and the shift I needed. 

The moral of this is take the solo trip. Just do it. Whether its local or international – this is a time you can connect to yourself. A time you can learn something new about yourself. Love yourself a little more. be more honest in who you are. 

“Live life by your own rules, don’t worry about meeting people – those who connect to you will come, do you, enjoy your own company, and enjoy the journey!”

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