Categories
Pages

Healing Is Ugly, But Here’s Why You Can’t Stop

When I tell you healing is gratifying – that’s an understatement. Healing is an amazing part of your journey to self love. It’s healthy and hearty – and sometimes HELL. Healing has helped me get to a healthy point in my life. It has helped me end friendships and relationships, forgive people, and move on from hard situations. It has helped me see things in a different light. Therapy helped me re-find faith. It has helped me love myself deeper than ever before. It has allowed me to experience and give grace. As great as all this sounds, it didn’t come easy.

Healing can be rough. It isn’t always a rose garden or a bike ride on a spring day. Most days are full of ugly cries. Nights balled up on the couch with movies and ice cream. Journaling and hard conversations with yourself. Many nights after therapy I would turn my phone on DND, pour some wine and watch re-runs of my favorite movies. It can be a excruciating process to heal through therapy. There are nights where I question everything I have done in the past. There are nights where I fell every mistake. Felt every conversation, every lesson and every revelation of why I am or why I do. Even with all the negative, I’ve never heard anyone say going to therapy wasn’t worth it.

To fully experience therapy, and all its highs and lows, I had to let go of the things that was preventing me from healing. Let go of friendships or relationships that allowed me to stay stagnant. I stayed stagnant in the areas that where the most traumatic – because they felt good. They felt familiar. That part was hard in itself. The things that were unhealthy felt good, they felt familiar. I didn’t know healthy and the thought of that was scary. So letting these attachments go, meant allowing myself to step into a space I didn’t know. A space I didn’t want to navigate. Yet for me to fully experience happiness I had to rid those things and step into the unknown.

Once I did that, it got real. Sometimes too real. Yet, nothing was so hard I couldn’t come out of. There was nothing that happened that I couldn’t recover from. Was it comfortable? Hell no. was it worth it? Hell yes! It made me realize the power within myself. It allowed me to begin using my voice in ways I never thought I could. I learned to be ok with losing people. Hell it made me bold enough to walk away form some people. It made me recognize my worth. If you’re on the fence about therapy, let me be the first to tell you. There is nothing more gratifying then fully realizing your worth. And that my friends is enough to try.

Just take the first step. Its not easy or comfortable. It’s worth it.

Back to top