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I Think I could work at Target…

Have you ever sat at your desk or woke up one morning and thought, “I could work at target and be happy?” I’ve done that so manny times I’ve lost count. In 2015, I moved to NJ to take a new job. It took me out of my comfort zone, gave me a new perspective on justice reform and most importantly, it took me out of an office! It allowed me to use my, what some have called, bubbly personality to advocate and encourage juvenile justice reform. I was optimistic about work and thought this could be a start to my career.

Fast forward almost 4 years and 5 counties later, I am, what you would call, professionally depleted. I literally have hit my breaking point. Being unhappy at work, I have lost motivation in other areas of my life. I wake up dreading the hour and twenty minute drive to the office. Sometimes, I am barely prepared for meetings. Winging it has become my new go to strategy. Since I manage 5 counties in the northern part of NJ, I get home and literally have no energy left. Getting to sit on my couch and binge shows until I fall asleep has been therapeutic and my go to contrast from work.  But it has also overpowered my motivation to do more.

Working in a job where you are overworked and unhappy is detrimental to your mental and emotional health. Now, you can be overworked but still feel effective in many ways. To feel overworked and be unhappy? Bad combo. What made it worse, the job posting required a master’s degree and the title DOES NOT. (That is a whole other post that is coming trust).

So what has suffered from being depleted at work? My ability to create both professionally and personally – my motivation to be effective at my current job and be intentional about change, my motivation to achieve personal goals and my willingness to be diplomatic at work.

There are also times where you have to be neutral or hold a certain level of poise at work. I have little hit the “I could care less” button. I realized, if I didn’t make a shift or change soon, I could be unemployed and head over heels in bills. Although target is still an option, I made other decisions.

What Did I Start Doing?

First I made looking for a new job, a job. I have to take it seriously and challenge myself to apply for the positions I know I’m qualified for, not just those positions that are safe. Besides, I’m looking for effective & intentional change, not just a location change. 

Second – I set a boundary for work – leave work at work. This was a hard, but much needed change. The type of work I do, I can easily use a Sunday afternoon to catch up on work. That was draining in itself. I had to learn that work will still be there and I can still get it done between the hours of 8-6. That saying “don’t overwork yourself for a job that will replace you”, is REAL. 

Third, I made time for rest and relaxation. This is critical to your mental and physical health. Setting aside time to just catch up on a show, or read a book or even sleep – can drastically impact your ability to be effective. Don’t let anyone tell you you have to overwork to be great, even God rested on the 7th day. 

Lastly, I connected to the things that made me happy and inspired me creativly. I made it a point to create a list of goals I wanted to accomplish – law school, blogging, refresh my wardrobe, and creating a Self Care Saturday List. This allowed me to connect back to myself, and disconnect from the unhappiness I felt from work.

All of these things are still a work in progress. I fall off more than I’d like to admit but I try to get up and keep pushing. If I don’t make time, I ensure Saturday is my day. If I take work home I make sure to try and limit the time I work. Setting these changes in place has forced me to invest in my dreams too. 

Lack of motivation is rough, and it can literally, take you off your game. Don’t let it. Take some “me time” and refocus yourself. 

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