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After reading Shonda Rhimes book “Year of Yes”, I was inspired! Say yes to things you never would say yes to. Say yes to things outside your comfort zone and that get you moving. Experience life and be as social as possible. Sounds Good right??

One day, while talking to a friend, complaining about going to an event I wanted to say no to, my friend said something to me. “You don’t know how to say no.”  Right, I had the wait a f–ing minute face on too. I replied with “I can defiantly say no!” I absoluetly know how to decline an invitation. The reply, “Ok, we’ll see.” HMP! I’ll show you!

My friend asked me if I was coming to visit/attend an event in DC. I didn’t want to go, I wanted to stay home, relax, clean, watch movies, do things I didn’t do often – sit down! My dumb ass said yes. He was right. I 125% wanted to say no, but I didn’t. Could I really not say no?! Put your foot down girl! Self Care! Get some rest! It’s a long drive. – I drove there anyway.

I realized in that moment I couldn’t say no. It wasn’t becasue I always wanted to be at the events or had FOMO. I literally felt bad for telling my friends no, which ultimately meant compromising on time I wanted to myself.  I had to accept that truth. After I did some self-reflection – I realized I had a problem with saying no- out of fear of disappointment. I didn’t want to be seen as inconsiderate? I barely missed an event or birthday or trip or anything. Sometimes that meant sometimes spending the last dollar I had, I made it work. Which I must say is completely irresponsible.

In 2019 I made a conscious decision. Say no. If you don’t want to or can afford to go – just say no. That may mean missing some friends’ events, or trips or even a girl’s night out. That means potentially missing major trips, not making family events or birthdays, leaving your work at work or not getting that free meal on a date! Ok, that may not be 100% true – but you get the point.

As I navigate this “no” year, I am learning how to deal with the backlash, the upset faces and potentially strained relationships. It was hard at first. Yet as I spend more time with myself and doing things I love. It isn’t as painful as I thought, sometimes it actually feels good!

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